phil t.

1. My dad's been like a father to me. 2. A rolling stone could take someones eye out. 3. All for one and one for all. Until the shit hits the fan. 4. Don't fuckin swear. 5. If I've told you once I've told you a thousand times, don't exaggerate. 6. The problem with going overseas is that there's too many foreigners. 7. If you've got one foot in the grave then you should probably stop robbing peoples coffins. 8. Women are so stereotypical. 9. If you scare the pants off somebody seriously question the elasticity of their pants and advise them to contact the manufacturer. 10. Kids act so childishly. 11. Why isn't "get fucked" a compliment. I wish I could get fucked then I wouldn't be standing here listening to you. 12. The grass is always greener on the other side because they've obtained a more advanced sprinkler system. 13. If your 'over the moon'. Congratulations your an astronaut.

funniness: 6.35

rating: R