Steve K.

1. When told you owe a very small amount of money, give the cashier a one hundred dollar bill. 2. When asked to present the proper id to prove you are 18 give them a condom off of the rack next to you. 3. When standing behind a couple who mope about the husband's sperm being unfertile and they can't have kids because of it, masturbate and offer them your sperm in a Ziploc bag. 4. Load up a few carts with numerous things and checkout, when the cashier gets done ringing it up, run out as fast as you can. 5. repeatedly walk through the automatic door and purposely stand in people's way, especially when they are in a hurry. 6. Replace things from one persons cart with something from another person's cart. 7.flush about 5 rolls worth of toilet paper and flush, do the same for all the other toilets. 8. Open a box of brownies or other food, start eating, then put the box back. 9. When there appears to be a long line and people are becoming restless, have them all yell at the top of their lungs, penis, or vaginal secretion, or any chant about vulgar and sexual behavior. 10. Put candy in your pants that looks like and resembles a penis, point it straight out, and poke people with it. 11. When standing in line behind a senior citizen, ask them to have sex you, even if they require a lube job. 12. when standing behind someone of the same sex ask them if they believe homosexuals should have rights, and then ask if they want to become one. 13. Open numerous things and toy with them. 14. When you come across the little buttons that ask for customer service, push it and run away. 15. Repeatedly ask the cashier what a douche bag is. 16. Even though you may not need this ask them what is the best tampon, especially if you're a guy. 17. Ask the oldest most disgusting, and most wrinkly old guy or woman what porno they would best recommend. 18. Cut holes in all the brand name woman's panties. 19. where underwear on you head and run around the store pretending to be a superhero. it helps to have a picture of a superhero on the underwear. 20. Put on as many articles of clothing as you can and walk out, when the tone beeps, take it all off and run, even if you take off your own clothes. 21. Make vulgar sounds with a friend of yours at the checkout counter and touch each other and start making it look like you're about to have sex on the counter. 22. Flip every switch you find. 23. Move different items across the store in the wrong sections. 24. Put a shoe or socks in your pants and try to impress a woman on how you have a fairly girth and large dick, especially if you are a woman. 25. Have a destruction derby with the bicycles in the store knocking down as much as possible. 26. Play golf in the sporting goods department. 27. Ask to hold and examine their BB guns. Bring your own BB's load it up, and shoot people. 28. mess around with the manikins. Pretend to have sex with them, and try to walk out with them, if asked why say that you wanted to take it on a date, because it was so damn attractive. 29. Bang on the gumball machines to get free candy. 30. Take ice out of the freezer and leave it on the floor. 31. When in the bathroom purposely miss the toilet, no matter what order of business you are doing. 32. Touch other peoples children and then take them across the store and leave them there when their parents aren't looking. 33. Get behind someone and jam their rear-end with your knee. Then reply, you have now been fucked by a rhino. 34. Throw different things at people. 35. Switch kids around in different carts. 36. Hold up customers with plastic squirt guns, and see how much money you can collect. 37. Take someone's child and put him or her in a large suitcase. 38. Spend the night in a sleeping bag off of the shelf. 39. Ask people repeatedly where the bathroom is when they try to give you directions, squirt they're shoe. 40. Flash the youngest and oldest people.

funniness: 5.38

rating: PG