James P.

* People wonder why the world is such a mess. Simple. Only fools have children. * Always carry an umbrella. After all, better safe than soggy. * Sanity is the worst form of madness. Me? I'm completely crackers. * The Four Phases of Life - 1. Being looked after by one's parents 2. Looking after one's children 3. Looking after one's parents 4. Being looked after by one's children * We are all stupid, only some are stupid in a slightly more intelligent way than others. * Nutmeg is the spice of life. * Today is the last day of the last bit of your life. * The cup isn't half empty. It's completely empty. Hey! Who drunk all my tea? * They say that love is blind: it's also deaf, dumb, and stupid. * Life is a terminal disease, and I'm not holding out much hope for a cure. * No news is good news - unless you're a newspaper. * Laugh, and the whole world laughs with you. Cry, and the whole world laughs at you. * An engagement ring is a contradiction in terms: if it's engaged, it *won't* ring. * It's bad luck to be superstitious.

funniness: 6.36

rating: G