James L.

The first realizations that you're not in college anymore * You're waking up at 6 a.m. instead of going to bed. * Beers at lunch get you reprimanded. * College sweatshirts are "casual" instead of dress up. * Your parents charge rent. * Your parents walk in while you are having sex, not your roommate. * The five food groups are no longer beer, pizza, ramen, mac & cheese, and cereal. * It's "getting late" when it's 9:30 p.m. * Three words: school loan payments. * You make thousands of dollars a year and still can't afford that dream Porsche. * You start eyeing the Light Beer section appreciatively. * Pickup football games mean that at least one person will be in the hospital by game's end. * Discussing with your friends THEN: GPAs, phone rates, and tonsil hockey; NOW: IRAs, interest rates, and their kid's orthodontia. * Sleeping on the couch is a no-no. * Naps are no longer available between noon and 6 p.m. * Sneakers are now "weekend shoes." * Dinner and a movie = The whole date instead of the beginning of one. * Your girlfriend being pregnant brings thought of tax deductions instead of coronaries. * Jack and Cokes become Dewers on the Rocks. * The only drugs you take are Tums and Tylenol. * The weak single you hit in the intramural softball game is now remembered as a Varsity dinger for the League Championship. * You get your news from sources other than USA Today, ESPN Sportscenter, and MTV News. * Random hook-ups are no longer acceptable. * You wear more ties/skirts in a week than you even owned while taking classes. * You find yourself reminiscing fondly of two-hour calculus exams. * You empathize with the characters from 'Friends". * METABOLISM SLOWS DOWN * Football "season tickets" go from $75.00 for the season with dozens of friends to $750.00 for the season with the three other guys who want to get away from the family. * Wine appreciation expands beyond Boone's and Mad Dog. * You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time. * Grocery lists contain relatively healthy food. * When drinking, you say at least once per night, "I just can't put it down the same as I used to." * You are the only person over the age of sixteen in your neighborhood with a Sega.

funniness: 6.43

rating: PG