Funny.com. Work in progress... In the meantime, here are 10 random funny stuff for you:

Tyce F.

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip." So the next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon return to his office after mass, he found the following note on his door: 1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp. 2. There are 10 commandments, not 12. 3. There are 12 disciples, not 10. 4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated. 5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass. 6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C. 7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior, and the Spook. 8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him. 9. When David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass. 10.We do not refer to the cross as the Big T! 11.When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take this and eat it, for it is my body", he did not say, "Eat me." 12.The Virgin Mary is not referred to as the, "Mary with the Cherry". 13.The recommended grace before a meal is not: "Rub-A-dub-dub, thanks for the grub, yeah God". and finally... 14.Next Sunday there will be a taffy-pulling contest at St.Peter's, not a peter-pulling contest at St. Taffy's.

funniness: 8.33

rating: PG

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Kobi M.

This one guy has a wife who he's shared great sex with for years. He decides that to check if his wife really is the sex godess he believes her to be, and decides to have sex with 5 of the best whores in the area to see if they are better or worse than his wife. The first whore isn't even close, and the 2nd, 3rd and 4th whores aren't either. By the time the man reaches the 5th whore, he's confident that his wife really is the best at sex. He goes to the whore house, gets directed to a room and enters. While getting undressed, the whore asks him,"Do I know you? You look familiar to me". The man thinks to himself, I've never been here before...Then he remembers that his twin brother is still single and probably comes to these kinds of places a lot. So he says, "No, it's probably my twin brother you recognize." The whore shrugs, and they start to do their thing. The man can't believe how good the sex is. He thinks to himself, WOW, this whore is MUCH better than my wife is, I guess she isn't the best after all. After they finish, and start dressing up, the man says to the whore, "My wife, Rose, is unbelievable at sex, but I admit, you are MUCH better." The whore smiles and says, "Your brother said the same thing."

funniness: 8.50

rating: R

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Vasiliy O.

funniness: 8.32

rating: G

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Moe R.

An 18 year old Italian girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for 2 months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drug store and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant! Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!" The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later, a Ferrari stops in front of their house. A mature and distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of the of the Ferrari and enters the house. He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and tells them: "Good morning; your daughter has informed me of the problem. I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge. I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life. Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath a Ferrari, a beach house, 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beachfront villa, and a $2,000,000 bank account. If a boy is born, my legacy will be two factories and a $4,000,000 bank account. If twins, they each will receive a factory and $2,000,000. However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?" At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him, "You f*** her again."

funniness: 9.22

rating: PG-13

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Moe R.

funniness: 9.24

rating: R

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L L.

Drink Jet Fuel for more Boost!

funniness: 8.43

rating: PG

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Moe R.

funniness: 8.25

rating: G

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Moe R.

funniness: 9.83

rating: G

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Sir Brannsworth V.

They're learning to read...

funniness: 9.52

rating: PG

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Donald W.

funniness: 8.04

rating: G

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