James P.

If you are really bored... * Visit expensive restaurants and order alphabet soup. Then ask the waiter to remove all the "Q"s, as you are allergic to them. * Put "Out of order" stickers on random vending machines * Go to the bank and change big notes in to pennies, and then go to an other bank and change them back. Repeat. * Swap "Staff only" and "Men" signs on toilets in department stores. * Press the buttons on pedestrian crossings and run away. * Explain to a tramp/begger why you only give to registered charities. Suggest he/she gives all her/his money to a registered charity. * Buy rude magazines, and slip them in to people's bags when they are not looking. * Go to an expensive jewelry store, and ask to see the cheapest thing in the shop. Claim that it is still to expensive, and leave. * Complete the theme from "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly" every time a Securicor van reverses. If possible, use a real mouth organ. * Ask some one the time. Then ask some one else the time within earshot of the first person. Repeat. * Go in to electrical shops and ask for things that do not exist. Repeat with other types of shops. Score one point for each time that a sales assistant checks with a supervisor. Score ten points for every time that a supervisor checks with head office. Score fifty points if they try to order it for you. Score 1000 points if some one actually designs one based on your invented specifications. Score 5000 points if the latter happens, and when you go back to the same store, the sales assistant still has to check with a supervisor. * Go to a very expensive hotel and ask if they rent the rooms by the hour/minute. * Tip waiters in foreign currency. * Collect other peoples's business cards. Then leave them by public telephones in questionable areas. * Say "Macbeth" in a loud voice inside theatres. * Go in to a shop, engage the sales assistants in conversation about the weather, politics, sport, and then leave with out buying any thing. * Go to a television shop, and just stay there and watch the televisions. All day. When thrown out, visit an other store. When out of stores, move. * Visit a pet shop, and ask which pet goes best with white wine source. * "Recycle" your rememberence day poppy.

funniness: 6.91

rating: PG