Kelcie C.

Kids' Instructions On Life - Never trust a dog to watch your food. - When you want something expensive, ask your grandparents. - Never smart off to a teacher whose eyes and ears are twitching. - Wear a hat when feeding seagulls. - Sleep in your clothes so you'll be dressed in the morning. - Never try to hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk. - Don't flush the toilet when your dad's in the shower. - Never ask for anything that costs more than five dollars when your parents are doing taxes. - Never bug a pregnant mom. - Don't ever be too full for dessert. - When your dad is mad and asks you, "Do I look stupid?" don't answer him. - Never tell your mom her diet's not working. - Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat. - When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she's on the phone. - Never try to baptize a cat. - Never spit when on a roller coaster. - Never do pranks at a police station. - Beware of cafeteria food when it looks like it's moving. - Never tell your little brother that you're not going to do what your mom told you to do. - Remember you're never too old to hold your father's hand. - Listen to your brain. It has lots of information. - Stay away from prunes. - Never dare your little brother to paint the family car. - Forget the cake. Go for the icing!

funniness: 6.44

rating: G