Jimmy M.

1. By joining together dozens of paper clips you can make yourself an attractive chain. Ideal for a night out. 2. Help the local police by popping into the mortuary each day to see if you can identify any of the bodies. 3. Using string, nails and pullies it is possible to turn on the taps in the bathroom from your living room. 4. Drill a one inch hole in your fridge. This will enable you to check if the light goes off when you close the door. 5. Fool your neighbours into thinking your car has an expensive alarm fittled. Achieve this by sleeping in it each night and sounding the horn for one minute at regular intervals. 6. Next time you have a party make your guests swallow a small plastic disk with a number on it. Make sure to keep a record and if anyone vomits you will know who it was. 7. Amaze your family by trailing a lenght of toilet paper along your bathroom floor, over the rim of your toilet and into the water. Flush and they will watch on amazed as the toilet paper is 'eaten' like someone sucking spaghetti. 8. Stop noisy neighbours knowing which room you are in by stealthily crawling about your house on all fours. 9. Teach your children the value of money by bursting their football. They will then have to work to earn enough to by a replacement. 10. Beat the Credit card companies at their own game. Run up a massive bill on your credit card and then kill your self before the statement arrives, thus avoiding re-payment.

funniness: 4.66

rating: PG