Stanley T.

Just after looking at Pamela Anderson's before-photos, I felt as horny as hell. I had been yearning for a moment to make love to Berlinda; the girl next door, who just the day before had told me how much she had wanted me to be her man. She had then informed me of that day when her parents would not be in; Friday 7th May, 1999 was a day already noted in my digital diary as "The Day I made her love me." Frankly, I was very poor in lovemaking; I would not last a minute before I'm done. This time round I had to prove my wit. I had prepared myself with everything--a packet of fried cashew nuts, a box of strawberries, champagne, and a bottle of olive oil; my friends had given me this recipe for prolonging my stay on top of the world. I was also running through the photos to excite my fantasies. I needed to be as lethal as Darth Maul. As the sun was setting, I had applied all ingredients necessary as my friends had prescribed it to me; I was sure that these natural aphrodisiacs would work. I jumped over the fence into the compound where my dreams would come true. I knocked the door and she let me in. She led me to her room, where she left me as she went to get herself ready. Knowing exactly what I was to do, I undressed and threw my clothes beyond reach. I consulted my hands for assistance and got my sporting tool ready for the event. I then jumped into bed and waited. At that moment, I could hear her footsteps coming towards the door. I heard two knocks; one at the door and the other at the window, so I decided to respond to the most important one--the door. I asked her to come in as I checked to see who was at the window. To my surprise Berlinda was outside, so I quickly turned to check who I had let into the room. At the door, Berlinda's daddy's stood with a smoking hunting gun in his hand and I could see him very clearly because my sporting tool that had earlier blocked my view was then missing.

funniness: 4.51

rating: R