Jimmy J.

Brooklyn Ledger March 18 MAN WINS UNUSUAL LAWSUIT AGAINST POST OFFICE Manhttan, N.Y., March 17 (Reuters)A federal jury awarded $5,000 in a civil court case today to a man who sued the U.S. Postal Service for mental pain and physical suffering caused by late mail and abusive employees. Sol Rosenburg, 51, of Williamsburg, said of the court's decision: "These people were very rude and inconsiderate. They've made me an even more insecure person. I went to complain about my mail being lost or late. They spit on me, and called me 'fatty-ass'. I don't know if I'll ever get over the humiliation. But the money helps." * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Middletown News Oct. 24 UPSTATE CAR SALESMEN'S HARDSELL BACK FIRES Middletown, N.Y., Oct. 23 (UPI) A salesmen with an apparently well-known explosive temper was charged with aggravated assault after he attacked a customer in the Circle Hyundai showroom on Route 9. Frank Rizzo, 45, repeatedly rammed James McHugh's head against a car's fender after the 25-year old Albany resident hesitated on closing a deal to buy a car from Rizzo. McHugh, who suffered cuts and bruises, was treated and released from the hospital later that day. He told reporters, "That guy's a certified menace. All I said was that I wanted to think it over." * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Queens Gazette June 12 MAGIC SHOW GOES HAYWIRE Queens, N.Y., June 11(AP) A goat used by "Tarbash the Egyptian Magician" in a performance at Far Rockaway Junior high went on a rampage after being lit on fire by it's owner. The magician, a 31-year-old Bangladeshi native living in the Williamsburg section of Brooklyn, said that his goat has been set on fire for years without incident, but that lately "Basra been acting very strangely and not eating well. I'm concerned he may have a tumor. I love that damn goat." After being doused with kerosene, the six year-year-old goat charged into the audience and trampled several adolescents watching the show. The magician was arrested and charged with reckless endangerment of minors. The goat was treated and released from St. Joe's Veterinary Clinic later that day.

funniness: 5.71

rating: PG