Zac C.

Happy Weekend to you! I hope life is treating you good and you're ready to spend a few moments reading about those folks who shouldn't be let out without a keeper . . . Sue told me her husband isn't the most technical person in the world. (He MUST have an AOL account, right, Susan?) He was shopping at the grocery store the other day and tried to pay for his purchase with his ATM. After swiping it several times he told the cashier that he didn't think it was working. The cashier told him that she didn't think anyone had ever been able to get their *driver's license* to work in the machine. Shannon tells about her boyfriend's aunt. Boyfriend's sister had come home earlier than normal from a basketball game and the aunt asked, "Why? Did the game get rained out?" Rachel is changing her name to Judi. She'd just gotten a vacuum cleaner and was trying to figure out why it had headlights on it. She said she seriously suggested, "maybe it's if the electricity goes off you can still see where to vacuum." Corey said the other morning at the McDonald's drive thru the Judi asked if he'd like the 2 for 1 apple pie special. I told her yes and then she said, "I'm sorry, we're all out of apple pies." (There's a reason they work there, Corey . . . ) Cici's friend was in a car accident and they were on the way, with Judi, to the hospital. Someone mentioned a type of operation their friend was to have, and someone else in the car said, "Even a trained monkey could do it." Judi, wide-eyed, asked, "You mean they really train *monkeys* to do that kind of stuff?" Klatt was telling me about growing up in NYC, working at a local fruitstand. An elderly woman came up to the stand asking if we had any "dates". My friend and working partner told her that we didn't have any "dates". She then asked if we had "nuts". My friend said, "Ma'am, if we had 'nuts' then we've have 'dates'." While I'm thinking about it, this one happened to me. My daughter (Spud, as you may remember) wanted this movie called "The Phantom Tollbooth". We finally found it at Hollywood video. I took it to the clerk and asked if they had a copy to buy. They said they didn't and that was the only copy they had. I said, "So, how much trouble would I be in if this 'doesn't come back.'" The clerk's eyes got real big and he said, "Oh, man, you'd be in LOTS of trouble." I said, "look, just tell me how much the movie is in case it's 'damaged' or 'lost'." He clicked a few keys on the computer and said (very *gravely*), "$20." I informed him that the movie was indeed NOT coming back--clear the shelf now. I pulled out my wallet to hand him $20. He had to call the manager. Told the manager that I was going to "steal" the movie. I explained it all to the manager, she checked the computer to find out when it had last been rented. Turns out *Spud* was the last person to rent it--2 years prior. She decided it'd be ok to sell it to me. Again, back to the computer. I handed her my $20 and she said, "That'll be $10." "What? You just said $20?" "Well, yeah, if it was a new movie--but it's used." Dear God . . .

funniness: 5.83

rating: PG