Alexis J.

Poor Mildred was a 92 year old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband Earl. She decided she wuld just kill herself and join him in death. Thinking that it would be best to quickly get over it, she took out Earl's old Army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart since it was badly broken anyway. Not wanting to miss the vital organ and then become a vegetable and burden to someone else, she called her doctor's office to inquire as to exactly where the heart would be. "On a woman," the doctor said, "your heart would be just below your left breast." Later that night, Mildred was addmitted to the hospital with a gunshot wound to her left knee.

funniness: 6.49

rating: PG