Lindsay B.

Here are some real, absolutely true, label instructions on consumer goods. * On Sears hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping." * On a bag of Fritos: "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside." * On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." * Some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestions: Defrost." * On a hotel-provided shower cap in a box: "Fits one head." * On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: "Do not turn upside down" (printed on bottom of the box). * On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." * On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." * On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: "Do not drive car or operate machinery." * On Nytol (a sleep aid): "Warning: May cause drowsiness." * On a Korean kitchen knife: "Warning: Keep out of children." * On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." * On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." * On Salnsbury's Peanuts: "Warning: Contains nuts." * On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." * On a Swedish chain saw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands."

funniness: 6.58

rating: PG