James L.

LOVE - when your eyes meet across a crowded room. LUST - when your tongues meet across a crowded room. MARRIAGE - when you lose your child in a crowded room. LOVE - when intercourse is called "making love". LUST - all other times or when intercourse is called "screwing". MARRIAGE - what's intercourse? LOVE - when you argue over how many children to have. LUST - when you argue over who gets the wet spot. MARRIAGE - when you argue over money. LOVE - when you share everything you own. LUST - when you think twice about giving your partner bus money. MARRIAGE - when the bank owns everything. LOVE - when it doesn't matter if you don't climax. LUST - when the relationship is over if you don't climax. MARRIAGE - what's a climax? LOVE - when you phone each other just to say "Gidday". LUST - when you phone each other just to organize sex. MARRIAGE - when you phone each other to find out what time your son's game starts. LOVE - when you write poems about your partner. LUST - when all you write is your phone number. MARRIAGE - when all you write is checks. LOVE - when you show concern for your partners' feelings. LUST - when you couldn't give a shit. MARRIAGE - when your only concern is what's on TV. LOVE - when your farewell is "I love you darling...". LUST - when your farewell is "So, same time next week?". MARRIAGE - when your farewell is silent. LOVE - when you are proud to be seen in public with your partner. LUST - when you only ever see each other in the bedroom naked. MARRIAGE - when you never see each other awake. LOVE - when your heart flutters every time you see them. LUST - when your groin twitches every time you see them. MARRIAGE - when your wallet empties every time you see them. LOVE - when nobody else matters. LUST - when nobody else knows. MARRIAGE - when everybody else matters and you don't care who knows. LOVE - when all the songs on the radio describe exactly how you feel. LUST - when the song on the radio determines how you do it. MARRIAGE - when you never listen to talk radio. LOVE - when breaking up is something you try not to think about. LUST - when staying together is something you try not to think about. MARRIAGE - when just getting through today is your only thought. LOVE - when you're only interested in doing things with your partner. LUST - when you're only interested in doing things to your partner. MARRIAGE - when you're only interested in doing things alone. LOVE - when you're interested in everything your partner does. LUST - when you're only interested in one thing. MARRIAGE - when you're only interested in is your golf score.

funniness: 7.03

rating: PG