Nutter P.

1. Drinks coffee, not that sissy earl gray tea. 2. Beams down to the planet like real captains should. 3. Mutes the doctor when he gets out of line. 4. "Voyager" needs a female captain. Its captain must be willing to admit they're lost and pull over for directions. 5. Hasn't quoted Shakespeare yet. 6. Isn't French with an English accent. 7. Janeway says "I don't like you!" to her enemies instead of trying to convince them to behave better. 8. Janeway doesn't have any pesky Federation admirals to get in her way. 9. Three words: Compression Phaser Rifles. 10. Acknowledges freely when she breaks the prime directive instead of trying to weasel her way out of it with philisophical ramblings. 11. Janeway's holograms create useful things like doctors and lungs. Picard's holodecks create maniacal evil geniuses who yet again take over the ship. 12. Her engineer doesn't wear a bannana clip over her eyes. 13. Doesn't have a counselor (thank god!) 14. Has mastered facial expression understood by all to mean, "Boy, Paris are you ever stupid!" 15. Kes. Troi. No contest.

funniness: 5.99

rating: G