Lara K.

For all you guys out there who just can't figure it out, here it is. In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes & you get points. Do something she dislikes & points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects... Sorry, that's the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the point system. Simple Duties You make the bed..................................................+1 You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows.........0 You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets.......................-1 You leave the toilet seat up......................................-5 You replace the toilet-paper roll when it's empty..................0 When the toilet-paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex.......-1 When the Kleenex runs out you shuffle slowly to the next bathroom..-2 You check out a suspicious noise at night .....................0 You check out a suspicious noise and it's nothing...............0 You check out a suspicious noise and it's something...........+5 You pummel it with a six iron................................+10 It's her father..............................................-10 Social Engagements You stay by her side the entire party.....0 You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college drinking buddy.......-2 Named Tiffany...................-4 Tiffany is a dancer.............-6 Tiffany has implants............-8 Her Birthday You take her out to dinner..................................0 You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar ......+1 Okay, it is a sports bar...................................-2 And it's all-you-can-eat night.............................-3 It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team..................-10 Thoughtfulness You forget her birthday completely........................-20 You forget your anniversary...............................-30 You forget to pick her up at the bus station..............-45 Which is in Newark, New Jersey............................-50 And the pouring rain dissolves her leg cast...............-60 A Night Out With The Boys Go out with a pal .........................................-5 And the pal is happily married ............................-4 Or frighteningly single ...................................-7 And he drives a Mustang...................................-10 With a personalized license plate (GR8 N BED) ............-15 You have a few beers.......................................-9 And miss curfew by an hour................................-12 You miss curfew by an hour and you didn't call............-20 You get home at 3 am......................................-30 You get home at 3 am smelling of booze and cheap cigars ..-40 Her Night Out You stay home while she goes out with her annoying friend from work.................+5 She goes out with her annoying work friends, and she comes home real late..........+10 You wait up......................................................+15 She goes out, comes home late and drunk, and you put her to bed...+20 A Night Out You take her to a movie.........................................+2 You take her to a movie she likes...............................+4 You take her to a movie you hate ...............................+6 You take her to a movie you like................................-2 It's called DeathCop 3..........................................-3 You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans .........-15 Flowers You buy her flowers only when it's expected..................... 0 You buy her flowers as a surprise, just for the hell of it ....+20 You give her wildflowers you've actually picked yourself ......+30 And she contracts Lyme disease..................................-25 Your Physique You develop a noticeable potbelly...............................-15 You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it....+10 You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts.......-30 You say "I don't give a damn because you have one too".........-800 Finances You spend a lot of money on something impractical................-5 Something she can't use.........................................-10 Such as a motorized model airplane...............................-20 And she got a small appliance for her birthday..................-40 Driving You lost the directions on a trip...............................-4 You lost the directions and end up getting lost................-10 You end up getting lost in a bad part of town .................-15 You get lost in a bad part of town and meet the locals up close and personal.........-25 You know them..................................................-60 The Big Question She asks, "Do I look fat?" .....................................-5 (Sensitive questions always start with a deficit) You hesitate in responding.....................................-10 You reply, "Where?".............................................-35 Communication When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression..............0 When she wants to talk, you listen, for over 30 minutes..........+5 You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV...+10 She realizes this is because you've fallen asleep...............-20

funniness: 7.88

rating: PG