Tom C.

My uncle was a security guard for a Walmart up in Salonas County, so it was his job to take care of shoplifters. So one day he caught a woman trying to lift a blouse, and she was disciplined hardly. Later that day, my uncle noticed that she came back in to buy a can of spray paint, then go into the parking lot. He was used to shoplifters seeking vengence against cops that busted them, so he followed. She had somehow found out which car was his, and it was a van with a very expensive mural on it. So he watched her walk up to it, uncap the spray paint, and proceed to deface the mural. He ran up with his gun pulled and told her to freeze. I don't know how, but the woman got the arial off of the spray can and stabbed my uncle with the part under it and then ran off. He lingered in the hospital a few days, then died. And that's how my uncle died of a van-arial disease.

funniness: 4.00

rating: PG