Lee B.

Johnny was made to take a part in his school play in order to get a passing grade on his report card. Johnny stressed several times that he could not remember the lines asigned to him to recite. The night of the play came around and he again stressed that he could not remember the lines he was to perform. As his turn grew ever closer he studied his lines over and over with little success in remembering them. Here is what Johnny was supposed to recite. "Oh you alabaster witch, with turquoise eyes and ruby lips, how you make my heart twitch, Shakespeare!" As Johnny walked onto stage and saw the crowd looking intensely at him his lines once again slipped from his mind. Here is what he said. "Oh you Alabama Bitch, with turkey eyes and rubber tits, how you make my asshole twitch, snake shit, bat shit, rat shit, didn't want to do this fucking play anyway."

funniness: 7.11

rating: R