Zach M.

Wuz de nite befo Crimmus; An' all ower de hood; ereybody wuz' sleepin'; Dey wuz sleepin' good. We hunged up our stockings; An hoped like de' heck; That ol Sanna Clause; Be bringin' our check. All o'de fambily; Wuz layin in de beds; While Ripple and Thunderbird; Dance tru' dey heads. I passed out inna' flo; Right nex to my Maw; When I heard sech a fuss; I thunk: "It mus be de law!!!" I looked out thru de bars; What covered my doe; 'spectin' de sheriff; Wif a warrent fo sho. And what did I see; I said, "Lawd look at dat!!" Ther' wuz a huge watermellon; Pulled by giant warf rats!! Now ober all de years; Santa Clause, he be white; But looks liken us bros; Gets a black Sanna dis nite. Faster dan a Po'lees car; My home boy he came; He whupped on dem warf rats; An' called dem by name! On Leroy, on 'Lonzo ; And on Willie Lee; On Saphire, on Chenequa; Dey wuz a site to see!! As he landed dat watta' mellon; Out der in da skreet; I knowed it was fo' sho'; Da damndest site I ebber did see. He didn't go down no chimbley; He picked da' lock on my doe; An' I sez to myself; "Shit!! He done dis befoe!!!" He had dis big bag; Full of prezents I 'xpect; Wid Air Jordans and fake gold; To wear roun' my neck. But he left no good prezents; Jus started stealing my shit; Got my drugs, got my guns, Even got my burglar's kit!! Wit my stuff in de bag; Out da window he flewed; I woudda' tried to catched him; But he stoled my 'nife too!! He jumped on dat wadda' mellon; an' whipped out a switch; He wuz gone in a seccon'; Dat son of a bitch!! Next year I be hopin': Anutha Sanna we git; Cuz' diz here Sanna Clause; Jus' ain't werf a shit!!!

funniness: 6.15

rating: R