Daniel P.

At last count, Bill Gates had an estimated net worth of $42 billion dollars ($42,000,000,000.000). He has earned since his birth an average of $32.31per heartbeat, and this is escalating. Here are some things he could do with his money: * Pay NBA MVP Michael Jordan's salary for 1,394 years. * Give every man, woman and child on the face of the Earth $7.46. * Pay every California Lottery prize for the next 34 years. * Fund 158 Mars Pathfinder missions. * Fund the US Department of Education for 19 years. * Pay tuition for the residents of Seattle and Tacoma to go to the University of Washington for four years. * Fund the US presence in the Persian Gulf for 11 months. * Fund the US peace keeping forces in Bosnia for 157 years. * Buy 233,346,297 copies of Microsoft Windows 95. * Buy 1,680,000,000 copies of his own book, buy more with his royalties from those sales, continuing the cycle and easily the best selling author of all time. * Make Hanson the most successful musicians of all time by buying 3,529,411,765 copies of "Middle of Nowhere." * If he wanted to challenge George Lucas (worth only $2 billion), he could make 227 sequels to "Waterworld," or 35,000 sequels to "Sling Blade." * At the median donation for spending a night in the White House, he coulds tay in the Lincoln Bedroom for 46,300 years. * If he wanted to go on a killing spree in Los Angeles County, at the rate that Simpson was charged, he could kill 3,360 people and pay all his attorney fees and punitive damages. * At the rate of 1/2 ounce per $27 million, he could pay Mike Tyson to eat 1/5 of Evander Holyfield. * He could fly from Seattle to Paris and back on Air France 45,258,621 times. * If he wanted to go to a local baseball game, he could buy Seattle Mariners season tickets, all of them, for 411 years, and with his spare change could buy the team and the Kingdome. * At Denny's, he could buy a "Grand Slam Slugger Breakfast" for 9,150,326,797 people. * If he couldn't get service, he could buy every man, woman and child in China a Big Mac Extra Value Meal, as long as no one "Super Sizes." * If they preferred, he could buy 17 billion packages of Top Ramen noodles. * He must like coffee, and could buy over 6 billion pounds of French roast at his local Starbuck's. * Speaking of a cup of coffee, he could support one of those Sally Struther's foreign kids for 113,341,969 years. Perhaps what he need to spend money on most is a new pair of glasses and some hair conditioner.

funniness: 7.22

rating: PG