Caleb H.

-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 60 =-------------------------------------- In the engineering building, in small print low on the wall in the front of the stall so you had to lean forward to read it: You are now shitting at a 45 degree angle. Sure enough, he was right. -= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 61 =-------------------------------------- "Here I sat to take a dump. Out it squirmed, a greasy lump. Greenish-black, like melting tar Or oil from an old used car. It floats a moment, then it sinks. My chunky cable - how it stinks! My ass cheeks tremble, my sphincter sighs, And cramps of exhaustion clench my thighs. I weep with pride at my slimy shit, And ROB is the name I give to it!" - Lord Byron -= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 62 =-------------------------------------- In one persons handwriting - I love Amy M. In someone elses right below it - Who hasn't? -= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 63 =-------------------------------------- I stink, therefore I am. -= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 64 =-------------------------------------- Written on a bathroom wall: "Question Authority" and written beneath it: "Why?" -= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 65 =-------------------------------------- A sign I saw at a swimming pool once: We don't swim in your toilet, so please don't pee in our pool! -= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 66 =-------------------------------------- Another sign seen at a swimming pool: Welcome to our ool. Notice there's no P in it. Please keep it that way. -= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 67 =-------------------------------------- If you find there is no paper, Use your finger as a scraper. -= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 68 =-------------------------------------- Scrawled inside a toilet stall of a college chemistry building: For a really high time, call CH3-COOH. -= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 69 =-------------------------------------- here I sit arms enfolding my melting body. I'm wondering of you as I slowly become one with the chair that holds me. Here I Sit ---------- (as I slowly become one / with the chair that holds me) :1: Here I sit down, broken-hearted Trying to push a yet unstarted Poem into bright creation - Oh, the pains of constipation! Hours have passed, I've merely parted Rump cheeks and effetely farted Those weak blasts of wind excluded Nothing concrete has extruded! Other assholes far more shitten In their time have poems written Am I such a fucked up nerd That can't shit a single turd? :2: As I sit disgorging vapour My pen rests on toilet paper Spreading ink out from its tip - Till the fragile sheets will rip, And create a sphinctral fissure Which the pen, with lightest pressure, Will advance through, triumphally ... deepening my melancholy. Save me lord from poet's clog! Spare me this cramped stinky bog! This unending waiting on A clammy bum-unfriendly john! :3: No! I will not sit and mope! Yes! I'll sit, with rumbling hope To my tum a glow imparting, Wishing shitting, faintly farting, Till my muse gets off her butt And proceeds to squeeze my gut - Then will plop a finely worded Poem, goldenly bemerded, In a blaze of spice (and fury of the evening's hot tandoori chicken ...) and in one grand motion I'll have spewed my gut-emotion! :Epilogue: So I *will* sit, spouting gas Even if, in hours that pass, Crap coats brain and blood runs shitten - I won't rise till something's written! -= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 70 =-------------------------------------- In the Crown & Anchor Pub Ladies Room (Austin, Texas) If you can't trust me with a Choice, How can you trust me with a Child? -= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 71 =-------------------------------------- Seen in a college chemistry building's men's room: Flush twice - this has to go all the way to the cafeteria! -= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 72 =-------------------------------------- Sticker attached to electric hand-dryer in public restroom: Push button for a message from Congress. -= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 73 =-------------------------------------- Seen in a bathroom at a truck stop near Las Vegas, Nevada: There used to be a Mexican joke here...but it slid off. -= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 74 =-------------------------------------- Various graffiti written into the grout: Alexander the Grout All creatures grout and small Down and Grout Grout Expectations Grout Expectations Grout Googly Moogly Grout balls of fire Grout dane Grout expectations Grout fishing in America Grout of sight, Grout of mind Grout scott Groutful Dead Saur Grout Sometimes a Grout Notion The Grout Divide The Grout Gatsby The Grout Groutdoors Take me grout to the ball game Three Strikes You're Grout Twist and grout

funniness: 5.58

rating: R