After asking just about anyone with a law degree to come to his defense, Bill Clinton finally turned to the one man he knew could help: Johnny Cochran. Ken Starr's spies were able to obtain a copy of Mr. Cochran's top ten suggested defense strategies:
10. If the dress ain't a mess, he don't need to confess. 9. The economy's great, let the White Boy skate. 8. If the bitch didn't spit, you must acquit. 7. If she is not spread eagle, then it is not illegal. 6. Lewinsky's a whore, and Bill's better than Gore. 5. So he lied to the masses, he was just saving some asses. 4. He cheats on his wife, but its his personal life. 3. Bill can't tell the truth till he sees Ken Starr's proof. 2. Bill is not sleazy, Lewinsky's just easy.
And Johnny Cochran's #1 Clinton defense:
1. If the sex is just oral, it is not really immoral.
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