Updated Miranda Rights

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1.You have the right to remain motionless, or you may elect to run away from me.

2. Should you decide to run, I shall direct my K-9 to chase you down to the ends of the earth.

3. You have a right to have your lawyer run with you. Should he refuse, a recent Law School Graduate will be appointed by the court to jog along with you.

4. If while running you suddenly decide to end the race, be aware that my K-9 may or may not understand your intentions and may continue his pursuit of you in full stride.

5. You may stop running at anytime at your own risk.

6. Good luck. On your mark, get set...GO!


The revised Miranda rights

You have the right to swing first. Anything you do can and will lead to an ass kicking.

You have the rigth to have a priest and EMT pressent at the time of the ass kicking.

If you don't have a priest one will be appointed to you, to read you your last prayer!



1. Ya'll gots de rite to keep yo mouf shut. 2. Anytang ya'll be sayin be used agin yo ass. 3. Ya'll gots de rite to rap wif a loya an have im be wit ya'll durin questionen. 4. If ya'll caint fowd one, one be pointed fo ya. 5. Ya'll cain shut yo trap anytime.

I red da buv tayment uv my rites an unerstand em. I content to be questoned by de mon dats here



You are under arrest and..... 1. No, I DON'T KNOW who you are. 2. No, I don't CARE who you know. 3. Yes, you DO pay my salary. 4. Yes, you CAN have my job. 5. NO, I don't have anything better to do. 6. Yes, I do arrest REAL CRIMINALS sometimes. 7. No, I am not picking on you because you are (fill in ethnic group/race.) 8. No, I CAN'T give you a break. 9. No, I DON'T KNOW your friend Officer ___________. 10. YES, you will be allowed to make a phone call. 11. Yes, you probably will NEVER DO IT AGAIN. 12. No, WE CAN'T talk about it. 13. Yes, it does MAKE ME HAPPY. 14. Yes, you WILL SEE ME IN COURT.



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CNHJ_Updated Miranda Rights

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