Oxymorons

mark as unread

1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?

9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?

10. Why are they called " stands" when they are made for sitting?

11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?

12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

13. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?

14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?

15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?

16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?

21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?

22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?

24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

25. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

27. Christmas - What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?

28. Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway ? I dunno, why do we?

Rate

How funny is this joke, video, picture?

Submitted By

Stats

smiley 8.8 PG

submitted: 1+ years ago

viewed: 60,988 times

categories: other

close

Permalink

Permalink:

close

Save to List

Loading...

Personal Lists

Create New Personal List

List Name:

Allow Others to View/Subscribe:

save cancel

saving...

Community Lists

Create New Community List

List Name:

save cancel

saving...

joke

User Comments Add Comment

showing 1 - 8 of 8 discussions       sort by: newest

+1 thumb down thumb up
by Tiffani T. 1+ years ago

Why is the fear of long words such a long word? (hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia)

Reply to Tiffani T.'s comment
+3 thumb down thumb up
by pyro c. 1+ years ago

jumbo shrimp

Reply to pyro c.'s comment
+2 thumb down thumb up
by angie s. 1+ years ago

those aren't oxymorons. they are just a list of questions. this was interesting to read though. an oxymoron is: innocently guilty

Reply to angie s.'s comment
+1 thumb down thumb up
by benjamin e. 1+ years ago

Why are shipments in a car and cargo is on a ship?

Reply to benjamin e.'s comment
+1 thumb down thumb up
by Matt G. 1+ years ago

definatly a smile worthy list of thoughts tho not really Oxymorons n maybe webster got his from Samuel Johnson's 50 years earlier?? tho even he wasnt the first

Reply to Matt G.'s comment
[below viewing threshold, show comment] -3 thumb down thumb up
by sal s. 1+ years ago

why do we call a lisp when the person who has one can't say it

Reply to sal s.'s comment
+1 thumb down thumb up
by Katelyn K. 1+ years ago

so true on number 12 i've always wondered that too.

Reply to Katelyn K.'s comment
+3 thumb down thumb up
by danielle p. 1+ years ago

thoughts to ponder........it waz funny

Reply to danielle p.'s comment
CMTXE_Oxymorons

Advertise | About Us | Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Copyright Agent | Parents' Guide | Contact Funny.com

tk33YXVLDCPHVNoR0q9j7w
0