Good: Your hubby and you agree, no more kids Bad: You can't find your birth control pills Ugly: Your daughter borrowed them

Good: Your son studies a lot in his room Bad: You find several porn movies hidden there. Ugly: You're in them

Good: Your husband understands fashion Bad: He's a cross-dresser Ugly: He looks better than you

Good: Your son's finally maturing Bad: He's involved with the woman next door Ugly: So are you

Good: You give the birds and bees talk to your daughter Bad: She keeps interrupting Ugly: With corrections

Good: You wife's not talking to you Bad: She wants a divorce Ugly: She's a lawyer

Good: The postman's early Bad: He's wearing fatigues and carrying an AK47 Ugly: You gave him nothing for Christmas

Good: You're daughter got a new job Bad: As a hooker Ugly: Your coworkers are her best clients Way ugly: She makes more money than you do

Good: You're son is dating someone new Bad: It's another man Ugly: He's you're best friend

Good: You're wife is pregnant. Bad: It's triplets Ugly: You had a vasectomy five years ago.