Reincarnation

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REINCARNATION

Jason came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk (as he often did) and crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep.

He gave his wife a peck on the cheek and fell asleep. When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white robe. “Who the hell are you?” Demanded Jason, “and what are you doing in my bedroom?”. The mysterious Man answered “This isn’t your bedroom and I’m St. Peter”. Jason was stunned “You mean I’m dead!!! That can’t be, I have so much to live for, I haven’t said goodbye to my family…. you’ve got to send me back straight away”.

St Peter replied “Yes you can be reincarnated but there is a catch. We can only send you back as a dog or a hen.” Jason was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he asked to be sent back as a hen. A flash of light later he was covered in feathers and clucking around pecking the ground.

“This ain’t so bad” he thought until he felt this strange feeling welling up inside him. The farmyard rooster strolled over and said “So you’re the new hen, how are you enjoying your first day here?” “It’s not so bad” replies Jason, “but I have this strange feeling inside like I’m about to explode”. “You’re ovulating” explained the rooster, “don’t tell me you’ve never laid an egg before”. “Never” replies Jason. “Well just relax and let it happen”. And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops out from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time. When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that had ever happened to him… ever!!!

The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg he felt an enormous SMACK on the back of his head and heard his wife shouting “Jason, wake up you drunken bastard, you’re shitting the bed!”

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smiley 9.4 PG

submitted: 1+ years ago

viewed: 71,982 times

categories: bar, drinking men, women, relationships

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showing 1 - 20 of 20 discussions       sort by: newest

0 thumb down thumb up
by jayjay p. 1+ years ago

whos cathy and naveed? im getting a bit annoyed everyones saying there a bitch or an ass or something.

Reply to jayjay p.'s comment
+2 thumb down thumb up
by qwerty y. 1+ years ago

i couldn't stop laughing i was about to call 911 when i saw cathy and naveed tho my laughter silenced they saved my life lol just kidding but they should be banned and i was laughing

Reply to qwerty y.'s comment
+3 thumb down thumb up
by jk n. 1+ years ago

seriously, can naveed and cathy be banned??? naveed is starting to turn me into a racist guy

Reply to jk n.'s comment
+4 thumb down thumb up
by danielle p. 1+ years ago

i waz laughing till i saw cathy and naveed

Reply to danielle p.'s comment
[below viewing threshold, show comment] -4 thumb down thumb up
by cathy c. 1+ years ago
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[below viewing threshold, show comment] -4 thumb down thumb up
by cathy c. 1+ years ago
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[below viewing threshold, show comment] -5 thumb down thumb up
by cathy c. 1+ years ago
Reply to cathy c.'s comment
+2 thumb down thumb up
by Mac G. 1+ years ago

XD OMG! i cant breath!

Reply to Mac G.'s comment
+1 thumb down thumb up
by Abby B. 1+ years ago

There are some jokes that are better read than heard, this is one of them!!

Reply to Abby B.'s comment
+3 thumb down thumb up
by insertnamehere o. 1+ years ago

lmao!

Reply to insertnamehere o.'s comment
+3 thumb down thumb up
by lizi m. 1+ years ago

fuck off naveed, great joke!

Reply to lizi m.'s comment
+3 thumb down thumb up
by Pushkin R. 1+ years ago

Naveed's an ass. This was funny. Deal with it

Reply to Pushkin R.'s comment
+3 thumb down thumb up
by Yessica R. 1+ years ago

omg roflmfao!!

Reply to Yessica R.'s comment
+5 thumb down thumb up
by Dirson Eduardo J. 1+ years ago

Very, very very funny, thanks for sharing!

Reply to Dirson Eduardo J.'s comment
[below viewing threshold, show comment] -25 thumb down thumb up
by Naveed S. 1+ years ago

Amazing Funny Videos Amazing Funny Videos Hot Belly Dance Hot Belly Dance Hot Desi Girls Dance Very Funny Pictures Collection Only on >>>>

Show 1 replies to this comment

[below viewing threshold, show comment] -27 thumb down thumb up
by Naveed S. 1+ years ago

Amazing Funny Videos Amazing Funny Videos Hot Belly Dance Hot Belly Dance Hot Desi Girls Dance Very Funny Pictures Collection Only on >>>>

Reply to Naveed S.'s comment
[below viewing threshold, show comment] -26 thumb down thumb up
by Naveed S. 1+ years ago

Amazing Funny Videos Amazing Funny Videos Hot Belly Dance Hot Belly Dance Hot Desi Girls Dance Very Funny Pictures Collection Only on >>>>

Reply to Naveed S.'s comment
+7 thumb down thumb up
by Emma G. 1+ years ago

thats gr8!!!!XD XD XD XD XD XD

Reply to Emma G.'s comment
+9 thumb down thumb up
by brent s. 1+ years ago

omg that was so funny

Reply to brent s.'s comment
+6 thumb down thumb up
by Vince V. 1+ years ago

ROFL that's so awesome!

Reply to Vince V.'s comment
CLJZV_Reincarnation

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