How To Get Hired At Walmart

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A manager at Wal-Mart had the task of hiring someone to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified. He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.

The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table, the interviewer asked, 'What is the fastest thing you know of?'

The first man replied, 'A THOUGHT.' It just pops into your head. There's no warning.

'That's very good!' replied the interviewer. 'And, now you sir?', he asked the second man.

'Hmmm...let me see 'A blink! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of.'

'Excellent!' said the interviewer. 'The blink of an eye, that's a very popular cliché for speed.' He then turned to the third man, who was contemplating his reply.

'Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light on the barn comes on in less than an instant. 'Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of'.

The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. 'It's hard to beat the speed of light,' he said.

Turning to BUBBA, the fourth and final man, the interviewer posed the same question.

Old Bubba replied, 'After hearing the previous three answers, it's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA.'

'WHAT!?' said the interviewer, stunned by the response.

'Oh sure', said BUBBA. 'You see, the other day I wasn't feeling so good, and I ran for the bathroom, but before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had already s**t my pants.'

BUBBA is now the new greeter at a Wal-Mart near you!

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submitted: 1+ years ago

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showing 1 - 14 of 14 discussions       sort by: newest

+1 thumb down thumb up
by Kye C. 1+ years ago

I work for Walmart and yeah... This is pretty much accurate for 90% of Walmart employees.

Reply to Kye C.'s comment
+1 thumb down thumb up
by Nick S. 1+ years ago

I'm not going to Wal-Mart again!

Reply to Nick S.'s comment
+1 thumb down thumb up
by Kitler J. 1+ years ago

if that guy worked at a walmart near me... wow i regret shaking that greeter's hand... :P

Reply to Kitler J.'s comment
[below viewing threshold, show comment] -1 thumb down thumb up
by Alura P. 1+ years ago

Hahaha...I will never look at Walmart greeters the same way again! XD

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[below viewing threshold, show comment] -2 thumb down thumb up
by Jose K. 1+ years ago

Great joke haha...

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[below viewing threshold, show comment] -4 thumb down thumb up
by Matiss B. 1+ years ago

well, HE is slow, because if there was a race between his diarrhea and light, then light would win, that just proves walmarts hiring system

Reply to Matiss B.'s comment
[below viewing threshold, show comment] -2 thumb down thumb up
by Rachel K. 1+ years ago

holy crap! this so funny!

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by tommy c. 1+ years ago

Well, he DID answer the question correctly... http://www.RunescapePinGenerator.com/?me=138603

Reply to tommy c.'s comment
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by cedric s. 1+ years ago

What to do think, blink, or turn on the lights. (poops pants) Aw man.

Reply to cedric s.'s comment
+6 thumb down thumb up
by Jack R. 1+ years ago

I'm never going to Wal-Marts again.

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[below viewing threshold, show comment] -3 thumb down thumb up
by john h. 1+ years ago

he IS! god help us!

Reply to john h.'s comment
+3 thumb down thumb up
by Gudrun Osk G. 1+ years ago

*HAHA* I liked that one. :)

Reply to Gudrun Osk G.'s comment
+2 thumb down thumb up
by Master Melvin M. L. 1+ years ago

nice joke...!

Reply to Master Melvin M. L.'s comment
+1 thumb down thumb up
by Emma G. 1+ years ago

haa haa lol :) :)

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CLI2G_How To Get Hired At Walmart

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