Ponderisms

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Ponderisms

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

Garden Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out?'

Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt.'

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if he's going to look up there anyway?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Do you ever wonder why you gave me your email address?

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submitted: 1+ years ago

viewed: 49,215 times

categories: word fun (puns, riddles) other

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showing 1 - 13 of 13 discussions       sort by: newest

0 thumb down thumb up
by Alyssa C. 1+ years ago

Agreed

Reply to Alyssa C.'s comment
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by Alyssa C. 1+ years ago

What r u guys talking about????????????!!!!!!!!!!

Reply to Alyssa C.'s comment
[below viewing threshold, show comment] -3 thumb down thumb up
by J N. 1+ years ago

Dude seriously no one cares!

Reply to J N.'s comment
[below viewing threshold, show comment] -3 thumb down thumb up
by cathy c. 1+ years ago
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[below viewing threshold, show comment] -3 thumb down thumb up
by cathy c. 1+ years ago
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[below viewing threshold, show comment] -3 thumb down thumb up
by cathy c. 1+ years ago
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+6 thumb down thumb up
by Somik K. 1+ years ago

Ofcourse this is copy pasted! And i am gonna copy paste to all my contacts! :p Great work Moelicious, love your jokes!

Reply to Somik K.'s comment
[below viewing threshold, show comment] -2 thumb down thumb up
by -1 -. 1+ years ago

wtf is everyone talking about

Reply to -1 -.'s comment
[below viewing threshold, show comment] -30 thumb down thumb up
by Mark S. 1+ years ago

Do you ever wonder why you gave me your email address? OBVIOUSLY THIS IS COPIED AND PASTED. GTFO MOE

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+10 thumb down thumb up
by Rachel M. 1+ years ago

XDD chicken one has to be the best

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[below viewing threshold, show comment] -16 thumb down thumb up
by Dashelle S. 1+ years ago

Hmm...I hit enter twice and in the preview it showed it as 2 paragraphs, but apparently that didn't work....

Reply to Dashelle S.'s comment
[below viewing threshold, show comment] -9 thumb down thumb up
by Dashelle S. 1+ years ago

Carriage Return Line feed refers to going to the next line. You actually have to hit it twice to get seperate paragraphs. Carriage is the curser. Return brings it to the front of the line you just typed. Line feed takes it to the next line. (2nd paragraph) And what is Black Bubbly Liquid? Oh, one more thing. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Because it needs air to make it work.

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+7 thumb down thumb up
by Duckerdoo 1+ years ago

I got another one. How did a black bubbly liquid ever catch on? (pop) Verry funny stuff though. Vote: 8G

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