To whom it may concern;
The following changes are to be put up for debate in the next session:
1. While walking to a destination less than 3 blocks away, the fastest man sets the pace. If the others in the group are too slow, they shall recieve the title 'Manbitch' and shall be demoted in manrank. Exceptions are for injured friends and sexy women only, in which case they will set the pace.
2. A beer brat is the only form of sausage allowable at an event where grilling is the main form of food preparation.
3. Whilst playing beer pong, there is no excuse for failing to finish a cup. In addition, the maximum allowable time between rounds is 2 minutes. If beer from the last game is left, it must be chugged by the losing team inside the two minute time. Penalty for this rule is degradation of man status, and questions about their affection for the opposite gender.
4. No man shall use the word 'dear' in any letter to a fellow male.
5. No man shall cease his forward motion in an offroad trip, reguardless of his vehicle's performance, until the destination is reached. A real man could drive a pinto up everest.
6. Stopping for directions is unnaceptable, particularly if a woman suggests this course of action. An outdated GPS system must be updated or replaced. Those without a current GPS system MUST be proficient with a map and compass.
7. A real man does not need a credit card, he should be able to pay cash for needed supplies. The only exception is: when in pursuit of a woman, EVERYTHING is within your budget. A man must be finacially secure.
8. Calling Mom and Dad for money is exceptable only until the age of 21, when both necessary and unnecessary financial transactions should be paid for by the man in question. Writing a letter to the same effect however, is perfectly acceptable.
9. "Bro's before Ho's" is to be stricken from all men's vocabulary, except in the case of actual "Ho's", where the man in question shall be cast out of manhood for failure to meet his manly obligation to his peers.
10. When talking to fellow men about a woman whose name you don't know, the term "Bitch" shall suffice. Ex. "That Bitch was Fucking Hot!"
11. Calling another man any term of endearment beyond friend is an insult. The endearment user shall be subject to torment for life for violation of this rule.
12. Beer is beer, and failure to drink because beer is of inferior quality is strictly prohibited. An 'owed' beer however, must be of high quality or it does not count toward the debt.
13. A party with more than 45% males is to be termed a "bro-deo" and the difference in the Man-Woman ration bust be corrected by adding women or kicking out men.
We humbly request the preceding updates to the Man Law code of conduct.
Real Men Everywhere