Sex Jokes

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1. When I was born, I was given a choice - A big dick or a good memory.. I don't remember, what I chose.

2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.

4. Impotence: Nature's way of saying 'No hard feelings...'

5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - 'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together.

6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.

7. There are three stages of sex in a man's life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.

8. Virginity can be cured.

9. Virginity is not dignity, its lack of opportunity.

10. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small.

12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.

13. Q: What's an Australian kiss? A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.

14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing......

15. Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life? A: Life sucks, job sucks, and the wife doesn't.

16. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? A: Breasts don't have eyes.

17. Despite the old saying, 'Don't take your troubles to bed', many men still sleep with their wives!!

Send to the men who need a laugh and the women with a good sense of humor.


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smiley 9.1 PG13

submitted: 1+ years ago

viewed: 26,075 times

categories: health men, women, relationships sex, sexuality





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User Comments Add Comment

showing 1 - 5 of 5 discussions       sort by: newest

+2 thumb down thumb up
by Meliora F. 1+ years ago

@ # 5: Hardy-har-har, men like rape.

Reply to Meliora F.'s comment
+2 thumb down thumb up
by Jordan W. 1+ years ago

Lol... I love this one.

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0 thumb down thumb up
by CAJE C. 1+ years ago

I sure hope no religious individuals are reading this. They would get terribly upset.

Reply to CAJE C.'s comment
+3 thumb down thumb up
by Greg S. 1+ years ago

Pretty funny

Reply to Greg S.'s comment
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by j r. 1+ years ago

i like # 13

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CJOTS_Sex Jokes

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