Diary Entries from Deer Hunt

mark as unread

Deer hunting season is coming up... Here are the secret diary entries from last year's deer hunt.

1:00 am - Alarm clock rings.

2:00 am - Hunting partner arrives - drags you out of bed.

3:00 am - Throw everything except the kitchen sink in the pickup.

3:05 am - Leave for the deep woods.

3:15 am - Drive back home and pick up gun.

3:30 am - Drive like crazy to get to the woods before daylight.

4:00 am - Set up camp - forgot the tent.

4:30 am - Head into the woods.

6:05 am - See eight deer.

6:06 am - Take aim and squeeze trigger.

6:07 am - "Click".

6:08 am - Load gun while watching deer go over the hill.

8:00 am - Head back to camp.

9:00 am - Still looking for camp.

10:00 am - Realize you don't know where camp is.

Noon - Fire gun for help - eat wild berries.

12:15 pm - Ran out of bullets - eight deer come back.

12:20 pm - Strange feeling in stomach.

12:30 pm - Realize you ate poison berries.

12:45 pm - Rescued.

12:55 pm - Rushed to hospital to have stomach pumped.

3:00 pm - Arrived back in camp.

3:30 pm - leave camp to kill deer.

4:00 pm - Return to camp for bullets.

4:01 pm - Load gun - leave camp again.

5:00 pm - Empty gun on squirrel that's bugging you.

6:00 pm - Arrive at camp - see deer grazing in camp.

6:01 pm - Load gun.

6:02 pm - Fire gun.

6:03 pm - One dead pickup truck.

6:05 pm - Hunting partner returns to camp dragging deer.

6:06 pm - Repress strong desire to shoot partner.

6:07 pm - Fall into fire.

6:10 pm - Change clothes - throw burned ones into fire.

6:15 pm - Take pickup - leave partner and his deer in the woods.

6:25 pm - Pickup boils over - hole shot in block.

6:26 pm - Start walking.

6:30 pm - Stumble and fall - drop gun in the mud.

6:35 pm - Meet bear.

6:36 pm - Take aim.

6:37 pm - Fire gun - blow up barrel plugged with mud.

6:38 pm - Make mess in pants.

6:39 pm - Climb tree.

9:00 pm - Bear departs - wrap %&*$#@ gun around tree.

Midnight - Home at last.

Next day - Watch football games on TV, slowly tearing hunting license into little pieces - place in envelope and mail to back to Game Warden.

Rate

How funny is this joke, video, picture?

Submitted By

Stats

smiley 4.9 PG

submitted: 1+ years ago

viewed: 2,869 times

categories: celebrities, entertainment, people

close

Permalink

Permalink:

close

Save to List

Loading...

Personal Lists

Create New Personal List

List Name:

Allow Others to View/Subscribe:

save cancel

saving...

Community Lists

Create New Community List

List Name:

save cancel

saving...

joke

User Comments Add Comment

showing 0 - 0 of 0 discussions       sort by: newest

CJIG_Diary Entries from Deer Hunt

Advertise | About Us | Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Copyright Agent | Parents' Guide | Contact Funny.com

bWsT3Q5uO0G64wkTTF2bbg
0