If it weren't for electricity we would all be watching television by candlelight.
I went into McDonalds yesterday and said "I'd like some fries". The girl at the counter said "Would you like some fries with that"
Have you ever noticed... anybody going slower than you is an idiot. And anyone going faster is a maniac.
Don't spend 2 dollars to have a shirt dry cleaned. Donate it to the Salvation Army. They'll clean it and put it on a hangar. Next morning you can buy it back for 75 cents
What's hard and long for a black man? The 3rd grade
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