Chuck Norris

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If you unscramble the letters in "Chuck Norris" you get "Huck corn, sir." That is why every fall, Chuck travels to Nebraska and burns the entire state down.

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked her into a glacier.

Takeru Kobayashi ate 50 and a half hotdogs in 12 minutes. Chuck Norris ate 12 asian babies in 50 and a half minutes. Chuck Norris won.

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.

A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

Bullets dodge Chuck Norris.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

Chuck Norris is not afraid of the dark, the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris (of course).

Chuck Norris hates playing 'Rock Paper Scissors' because he doesn't believe anything could beat rock. He always chooses rock, and when someone throws paper, he says,"I win." If someone is foolish enough to dispute this, he takes his clenched fist and punches them in the face, then says, "I thought your paper would protect you."

Chuck Norris always drives on the rights side of the road no matter what country he is in.

There is no theory of evolution - only a list of creature Chuck Norris allows to live.

Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.

Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.


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