Jokes To Offend Everyone

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SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE!

What do you call two

Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan

What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ? The position of the dirt bag

Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it.

What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? Doughnuts.

Why is air a lot like sex? Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.

What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever.

What do attorneys use for birth control? Their personalities.

What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife? 45 lbs.

What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband? 45 minutes.

What's the fastest way to a man's heart? Through his chest with a sharp knife.

Why do men want to marry virgins? They can't stand criticism.

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are

sensitive, caring, and good-looking? Because those men already have boyfriends.

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex? Because they have cotton balls.

What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW? A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? "Are you sure it's mine?"

Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex? Mace will do that to you.

Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ? Everyone has the same DNA.

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Breasts don't have eyes.

Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi? He walks around saying "Yo".

Why do driver's education classes in redneck schools only use the car on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays? Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

Where does an Irish family go on vacation? A different bar.

Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby? They named him "Sum Ting Wong"

What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? A speech impediment.

What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast? They're hiring.

What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo? A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with a recipe.

How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the 'F' word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell "BINGO"!

What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale? A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit"

Why is there no Disneyland in China ? No one's tall enough to go on the good rides

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showing 1 - 18 of 18 discussions       sort by: newest

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by jennifer a. 1+ years ago

as for the second to the last one was probably the funniest only because I'm from the south and it's true.

Reply to jennifer a.'s comment
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by Devyn G. 1+ years ago

this is so awesome it demands a sequel!

Reply to Devyn G.'s comment
[below viewing threshold, show comment] -1 thumb down thumb up
by Ryan S. 1+ years ago

for the last one, there is now a disneyland in hong kong whcih is in China!

Reply to Ryan S.'s comment
+1 thumb down thumb up
by drew j. 1+ years ago

I've got a ton of southern fairy tales :D "ya'll ain't gonna believe this shit!" :D

Reply to drew j.'s comment
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by Sam R. 1+ years ago

What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo? A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with a recipe. That is funny as hell

Reply to Sam R.'s comment
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by nawar k. 1+ years ago

very funny well done mo.... but you know there gonna be a disneyland in China soon... i dont know how they gonna deal with the height problem... lol

Show 1 replies to this comment

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by Twi~Hard~fan C. 1+ years ago

i love this, rotflol

Reply to Twi~Hard~fan C.'s comment
[below viewing threshold, show comment] -4 thumb down thumb up
by a. l. 1+ years ago

DONT CLICK THIS LINK!!!! http://www.brickfish.com/Pages/PhotosAlbums/PhotoView.aspx?qsi=26090183

Reply to a. l.'s comment
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by Sharon N. 1+ years ago

why didnt u put this under insults? even though its funny.

Show 1 replies to this comment

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by tony w. 1+ years ago

so offending yet so funny! rock on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Reply to tony w.'s comment
+1 thumb down thumb up
by Paige B. 1+ years ago

Hilarious as hell! Not ofended, tho.

Reply to Paige B.'s comment
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by bob j. 1+ years ago

Moelicious is the god of Funny.com. Long Live Moelicious!!

Show 1 replies to this comment

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by xavier b. 1+ years ago

lmao the funniest was the northern tale and the southern tale xD!!

Reply to xavier b.'s comment
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by Nina G. 1+ years ago

I agree, the second to last is the best! KUDOS..

Reply to Nina G.'s comment
+7 thumb down thumb up
by Ryan L. 1+ years ago

Mad Funny (Especially the dough boy joke)

Reply to Ryan L.'s comment
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by p P. 1+ years ago

hahaahahahah the secong to last one is hilarious,!!!!

Reply to p P.'s comment
[below viewing threshold, show comment] -1 thumb down thumb up
by April S. 1+ years ago

i didnt get a couple of these...

Reply to April S.'s comment
+16 thumb down thumb up
by Bridget M. 1+ years ago

hahahahaahahahahahahaahh

Reply to Bridget M.'s comment
CHTCE_Jokes To Offend Everyone

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