Actual Newspaper Headlines

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Crack Found on Governor's Daughter [Imagine that!]

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says [No, really?]

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers [Now that's taking things a bit far!]

Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus? [Not if I wipe thoroughly!]

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over [What a guy!]

Miners Refuse to Work after Death [No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so!]

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant [See if that works any better than a fair trial!]

War Dims Hope for Peace [I can see where it might have that effect!]

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile [You think?]

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures [Who would have thought!]

Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide [They may be on to something!]

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges [You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?]

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge [he probably IS the battery charge!]

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group [Weren't they fat enough?!]

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft [That's what he gets for eating those beans!]

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks [Taste like chicken?]

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half [Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors [Boy, are they tall!]

And the winner is....

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

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smiley 10 PG

submitted: 1+ years ago

viewed: 112,196 times

categories: news, politics, government

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joke

User Comments Add Comment

showing 1 - 16 of 16 discussions       sort by: newest

+1 thumb down thumb up
by Jazsper S. 1+ years ago

Haha. I told my friend this joke and he wouldn't stop laughing!

Reply to Jazsper S.'s comment
0 thumb down thumb up
by tommy c. 1+ years ago

omg, funniest shit evar. where did u manage to find this? dont tell me you found them individually cuz that would be even funnier than the last line :D http://www.RunescapePinGenerator.com/?me=138603

Show 1 replies to this comment

+1 thumb down thumb up
by Rochanda R. 1+ years ago

the very last one was the funniest!!! lol

Reply to Rochanda R.'s comment
+2 thumb down thumb up
by Master Melvin M. L. 1+ years ago

very long but funny! :-)

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[below viewing threshold, show comment] -3 thumb down thumb up
by cathy c. 1+ years ago
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[below viewing threshold, show comment] -2 thumb down thumb up
by cathy c. 1+ years ago
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[below viewing threshold, show comment] -2 thumb down thumb up
by cathy c. 1+ years ago
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[below viewing threshold, show comment] -3 thumb down thumb up
by Adam W. 1+ years ago

You know you love Dane Cook, we all do! Check this out =) its not spam just funny! http://bit.ly/4EW3DS

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+1 thumb down thumb up
by Mac G. 1+ years ago

I LOVE the typhoon one funny as hell

Reply to Mac G.'s comment
[below viewing threshold, show comment] -3 thumb down thumb up
by Joy F. 1+ years ago

it would be alot funnier if there weren't so many narator comments.

Reply to Joy F.'s comment
+6 thumb down thumb up
by Fear Z. 1+ years ago

Nah, I think the captions at the end were great.. i like the sarcasm. (:

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[below viewing threshold, show comment] -5 thumb down thumb up
by -1 -. 1+ years ago

Funny, but the captions at the end werent

Reply to -1 -.'s comment
+4 thumb down thumb up
by Bioloy P. 1+ years ago

OMG THE LAST ONE AND URANUS ONE WERE FUNNY!!!! SOLID 10!!

Reply to Bioloy P.'s comment
[below viewing threshold, show comment] -2 thumb down thumb up
by Giselle D. 1+ years ago

these r my faveorites Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead rofl,how do we know they wernt already dead? Miners Refuse to Work after Death,the nerve of those miners not working aft they die soo lazyROFL!!!!

Reply to Giselle D.'s comment
+6 thumb down thumb up
by Samantha A. 1+ years ago

i like the uranus one

Reply to Samantha A.'s comment
[below viewing threshold, show comment] -11 thumb down thumb up
by Owen M. 1+ years ago

the comments after the jokes spoilt them, we are intelligent enough to think for ourselves

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