A man named Fred was in a terrible car accident. He survived, but barely. Several bones were broken, and he was forced to go to the Emergency Room in the local hospital.
His wife and kids were worried sick. They came to visit him every day that they could for weeks. However, his condition did not seem to improve, and they feared the worst.
Being a religious family, they called in the local priest to stand by his hospital bed and pray for his survival.
As soon as the priest showed up, Fred's condition seemed to suddenly deteriorate. He frantically motioned for something to write on. The priest pulled a notepad and a pen out of his jacket and handed them to Fred.
Fred wrote his final note, and gave it back to the priest. Thinking it best not to read it right then, he put it back inside his jacket and continued praying. After a short while, Fred died, to the intense sorrow of his family and friends.
Three days later, at Fred's funeral service, the priest was saying a few words for Fred, when he realized he was wearing the same jacket that he wore next to Fred's deathbed--with the note still inside!
"Brothers and Sisters," he said, "Fred gave me this note on his deathbed. I thought it best not to read it then. However, i think the time has come for people to know what his final words were."
The priest took the notepad out of his jacket pocket, and read to the crowd "You're standing on my oxygen tube!!"