"I like reading horror stories. The best place to find horror stories online is on thesmokinggun.com" (site bout court trials)
"Deck the halls with gasoline! Fa la la la la, la la la la! Light a match and start to scream! Fa la la la la, la la la la! Watch the world burn to ashes! Fa la la la la la, la la la! Aren't you glad we played with matches? Fa la la la la, la la la la!"
"slinky+up escalator=perpetual motion slinky+gasoline+matches=curly fire that climbs up slinky slinky+gasoline+matches+idiot= curly fire that climbs up slinky, arm, and face."
". Why do ducks have webbed feet? To stamp out fires Why do elephants have flat feet? To stamp out burning ducks!"
"That song from the i-pod commercial goes, '1234, tell me dat u luv me more'. If she kept counting, that song would be more annoying, which is almost impossible"
"this joke is for nerds. tin+apple= Snapple. (SN is tin on the periodic elements, snapple is just a drink that tastes like tin)"
"'A woman without her man is nothing' A proffessor wrote on the board. he asked his students to punctuate it right. 'A woman without her man, is nothing.' is what the men wrote. 'A woman, without her; man is nothing.' is what the women wrote. english class rules!"
the Snapple joke thing i found on a google search, the rest is just plain weird.