The Twelve Days After Christmas

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This is actually a song and it doesn't go along with the music to the Twelve Days of Christmas so don't try to sing it in your head.

The Twelve Days After Christmas

The first day after Christmas, my true love and I had a fight. And so I chopped the pair tree down and burnt it just for spite. Then with a single cartridge I shot that blasted partridge My true love, my true love, my true love gave to me.

The second day after Christmas, I pulled on the old rubber gloves. And very gently wrung the necks of both the turtle doves. My true love, my true love, my true love gave to me.

The third day after Christmas my mother caught the croup. I had to use the three french hens to make some chicken soup. The four calling birds were a big mistake for their language was obsene. The five golden rings were completely fake and they turned my fingers green.

The sixth day after Christmas the six laying geese wouldn't lay. I gave the whole darn gaggle to the NRA. My true love, my true love, my true love gave to me.

On the seventh day what a mess I found, all seven of the swimming swans had drowned. My true love, my true love, my true love gave to me.

The eighth day after Christmas, before they could suspect. I bundled up the eight maids a milking, nine pipers piping, ten ladies dancing, 'leven lords a leaping, twelve drummers drumming...(spoken) well, actually, I kept one of the drummers...(singing)and sent them back collect. I wrote my true love, we are through love and I said in so many words, further more your Christmas gifts were for the birds.


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smiley 4.0 PG

submitted: 1+ years ago

viewed: 704 times

categories: animals, nature insults men, women, relationships religion word fun (puns, riddles)





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Submitter's Comments

by Rachelle H. 12/21/07 09:51 AM

My choir sings this for Christmas every year and every year it's just as funny.

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