When girls don't put out!! This was written by a guy ... it's pretty damn smart.
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'
I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'
We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier.'
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'
I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.
submitted: 1+ years ago
viewed: 54,478 times
categories: men, women, relationships
I like that, at least the guy proves smarter the the gal
Hahahaha. Remember boys, this can be held against you too!!!!!
Am I the only girl who would've laughed if this had been me?
i hate when guys do that but i think its funny as hell when it dont happen to me (:
Oh damn dude! he turned her own thing against her! thats what she gets!..Mac G is right!
Personally, I think this is a little offensive, but thats me-this is hilarious anyway!
Great, more than a joke this is a nice lesson!!!!!
Finally a man won an argument with a women. Finally!
If I was that girl,you wouldn't live to tell the tale. you'd be right next to the other one.That's why I have a beautiful garden.
ahhhh thats good but realisticly, that guy would have gotten decked on the spot and prolly have no sex with this chick until new years eve
If I were a girl, I would get seriously annoyed and slap you.
As much as I would enjoyed doing that, I don't think it would be worth it once the bitch slap comes.
nice but i would have punched you so hard your destist would have felt it then broken up with you (if i was a girl)
nice but i would have decked you dude
as a woman i even have to say bravo!!!! it takes 2 to be a couple!!!
I'm finding the guy who wrote this and building him a shrine.