Why Am I Married?

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You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, 'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?' 'Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.'

A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds: 'Husband Wanted'. Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'

When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.

A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished . A little boy asked his father, 'Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?' Father replied, 'I don't know son, I'm still paying.'

A young son asked, 'Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?' Dad replied, 'That happens in every country, son.'

Then there was a woman who said, 'I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then, it was too late.'

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go t! hrough l ife thinking they had no faults at all.

First guy says, 'My wife's an angel!' Second guy remarks, 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'

' A Woman's Prayer: Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man , to Love and to forgive him , and for patience, For his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death '


Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus.

So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, 'Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy.'

The blind man replies, 'If you would've put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus ... so shut the hell up


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smiley 8.7 PG13

submitted: 1+ years ago

viewed: 24,953 times

categories: men, women, relationships sex, sexuality





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User Comments Add Comment

showing 1 - 8 of 8 discussions       sort by: newest

+2 thumb down thumb up
by Brittany M. 1+ years ago


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+3 thumb down thumb up
by Jade R. 1+ years ago

I feel bad for blind people, it would really suck to never see =( but that was a bit off topic =P Thats pretty freaking hilarious! 10!

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+3 thumb down thumb up
by Dave M. 1+ years ago

muahahahahaha the disabled are so quirky and unpredictable they make me chuckle hehe

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+5 thumb down thumb up
by Destiny G. 1+ years ago

Another one I love You are truely funny

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by Nikki B. 1+ years ago

ROFLMFAO lovin that last one. fucking hilirious.

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by Yue T. 1+ years ago

lmao XD

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by tori l. 1+ years ago

tHiS wAs ReAlLy FuNnY ! ! !

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by kALihi tOWN RidAhS 1+ years ago


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CGV5R_Why Am I Married?

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