A man walks into a bar, asks the bartender for three shots of Jack and a beer. He drinks these and tells him to keep 'em coming. Eventually he starts talking to a woman, and they hit it off. All the while he's drinking his sets of shots and beer. At the end of the night they go home together and have hot dirty sex all night long.
So the next night, he goes back to the same bar thinking "Well it worked last night", and tells the bartender, "Give me three shots and a beer, and keep it coming". He spends a good part of the night just drinking by himself, and finally he gives up and goes home.
The next night, he goes back to that same bar and tells the bartender, "Look man, all I want is a cup of coffee." The bartender says, "I'm sorry man, this is a bar, I can't just serve you coffee, you have to buy some alcohol." So the guy says, "No dude you don't understand, ALL I want is a cup of COFFEE." The bartender says, "Ok man, I'll give you your coffee, but you have to tell me what happened, you were in such a good mood the other night." So he gets his coffee, starts to drink it, and says.... "I got home last night, thinking I was fine, just going to go to bed, and all the sudden I start blowing chunks on my lawn! Then I think I'm done, so I go in, and I start blowing chunks in my kitchen! So I'm like ok, that's it and I go sit down, and I blow chunks on my couch! Finally I'm like screw this, I'm going to bed. And I blow friggin chunks on my bed!!" The bartender says, "Aw that's not so bad man, everyone gets sick sometimes." The guy goes, "Nah man you don't understand, Chunks is my DOG!!"