Funny Quots Part 2

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More Funny Quotes!!

You know, you get that tattoo of barbed wire when you're 18. By the time your 80, it's a picket fence-Robin Williams

I'm not afraid of death. I just don't want to be there when it happens-Woody Allen

When I was a little kid, we had a quicksand box. I was an only child ... eventually-Steven Wright

In high school, my sister went out with the capitan of the chess team. My paretns loved him. They figured that any guy that took hours to make a move was okay with them-Brian Kiley

First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me-Steve Martin

My problem is I belong to so many anonymous groups, everyoe knows who I am-Nacy Redman

If Carrots are so good for your eyes, how come there are so many dead rabbits on the highway?-Richard Jean

What if there were no hypothetical situations?-John Mendoza

Did you know that America spent $48 million on lottery tickets last year? "What are you doing for your retirement?" "Uh, Powerball."-Wanda Sykes

Wome don't want to hear what you think. Women want to her what they think--in a deeper voice-Bill Cosby

Gay people invented sports. Think about it. Boxing: two topless men ... wearing silk shorts ... fighting over a belt-Ant

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" she said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose-Brian Kiley

My wife has tons of credit cards. She has so many magnetic strips in her wallet, her purse points north-Peter Sasso

I didn't understand NASCAR until I met some NASCAR fans. You talk to a couple of NASCAR fans and you'll see where a shiny car driving in a circle would facinate them all day. I can make fun of NASCAR fans becasue if they chase me, I just turn right-Alonzo Bodden

Batman never fights crime in neighborhoods that need it. I'd like to see Batman in my neighborhood. "Robin?" "Yes, Batman?" "Didn't we park the car right here, man?"-Dave Chappelle

So they're showing me, on television, the detergents getting out bloodstains.I mean, come on, you got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it. Maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem right now-Jerry Seinfield

At what age do you tell a highway it's adaopted? I think around seven because that's when they start wonderig, Hey, I don't look like the Kiwanis Club-Zach Galifiankis


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smiley 6.3 PG

submitted: 1+ years ago

viewed: 3,214 times

categories: insults word fun (puns, riddles)





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Submitter's Comments

by S. F. 11/14/07 10:18 AM

More to come. XD

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CGTJK_Funny Quots Part 2

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