Down with Conservatives

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An ant works diligently all summer long preparing for the winter. The grasshopper thinks that the ant is a fool and plays all summer. Come winter, the ant lives happily and warmly in the house that he has built, and the freezing, hungry grasshopper dies in the cold.

MORAL OF THE STORY: It is best to prepare for the days of necessity.


A grasshopper works hard all summer preparing for the winter and building his own shelter. The grasshopper has an abortion, which is illegal in their state. However, the grasshopper was not aware the abortion was illegal because he had just moved from a state where abortion was allowed.

State autonomy caused the confusion, but the grasshopper and his wife are still sentenced to jail. While he is in jail, there is no one to pay the bills, so the house is seized. The grasshopper is released from jail with no money to buy materials to build a shelter, so he starts at the bottom as a small-time worker.

Meanwhile, an ant becomes rich by dealing guns and shooting those who come in the way.

The rich ant becomes the boss of the poor grasshopper. The poor grasshopper works hard for 10 hours a day, but he is still suffering under the low minimum wage. Although the grasshopper works so hard, the ant has no incentive to give him a pay raise.

Meanwhile, the rich ant is doing nothing but keeps getting richer because he receives tax benefits for simply having money. The rich ant hires other ants to do work for him, advancing opportunities for ants but leaving grasshoppers as menial employees.

The middle class shrinks, and the social classes become strongly divided by species (ant/grasshopper).

The shrinking of the middle class causes the development of corporate feudalism.

FOX News praises the new ant-exclusive regime and claims that any wrongs done to grasshoppers are made up by the benefits received by ants.

Neighborhoods dominated by either only grasshoppers or only ants begin to develop, and the grasshopper neighborhoods are neglected and become overrun with spiders.

Ron Paul persecutes non-Christians; both ants and grasshoppers suffer.

Mitt Romney becomes President and holds opposing viewpoints on how to address these issues. He ends up trying one solution one day and another solution the next day. This results in chaos and uncertainty among the People and, to simplify things, they form a mob and overthrow the Romney administration.

In the confusion, the CNP succeeds in naming Rudy Giuliani President. He establishes Catholicism as the national religion. No one dares contest his legitimacy because they are too afraid of opposing the CNP under the new Christian regime. Giuliani also drastically lowers taxes, which again results in the corporate feudalism.

The middle class is thus becoming only becoming smaller and smaller.

The grasshopper is seen one day in the snow, while the ant is sitting in his house having done nothing to earn it or keep it. Other poor grasshoppers manage to find small jobs tending to the antÂ’s house, and the cycle repeats.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be very careful of how you vote in 2008.

--by Kambo


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smiley 6.4 PG

submitted: 1+ years ago

viewed: 1,854 times

categories: insults news, politics, government





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Submitter's Comments

by Kambo K. 11/04/07 03:47 PM

A Liberal's Rebuttal to the Conservative Satire "The Ant and the Grasshopper"

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