A Guy Walks Into a Bar Jokes
A guy walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says, "A beer please, and one for the road."
An amnesiac walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Do I come here often?"
A guy with dyslexia walks into a bra.
A young Texan walks into a bar and orders a drink. "Got any ID?" asks the bartender. The Texan replies, "About what?"
A pair of battery jumper cables walk into a bar. The bartender says, "You can come in here, but you better not start anything!"
A Latin scholar walks into a bar and says, "I'll have a martinus." The bartender asks him. "Don't you mean martini?" The man tells the bartender, "Listen, if I wanted two or more drinks I would have asked for them."
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "So, why the long face?" A variant on this joke during the 2004 presidential campaign substituted John Kerry for the horse, but the punch line remains the same.
A penguin walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Has my father been in here?" The bartender says, "I don't know. What does he look like?"
A brain goes into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'll have a beer, please." The bartender says, "Sorry, I can't serve you. You're out of your head."
A little pig goes into a bar and orders ten drinks. He finishes them and the bartender says, "Don't you want to know where the toilet is?" The pig says, "No, thanks, I go wee-wee-wee all the way home."
René Descartes is in a bar at closing time. The bartender