Retirement Locations

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Retirement Locations

You can live in Phoenix, Arizona where..... 1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade. 2. You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl. 3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town. 4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food. 5. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door. 6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!

You can live in California where... 1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house. 2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway. 3. You know how to eat an artichoke. 4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party. 5. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is. 6. The 4 seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud, and Drought

You can live in Maine where... 1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco. 2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas. 3. You have more than one recipe for moose. 4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons. 5. The 4 seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction. (Note - this also applies to Anchorage, Alaska.)

You can live in the Deep South where... 1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store. 2. "Y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural. 3. "He needed killin'" is a valid defense. 4. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, Mary Beth, etc.

You can live in Colorado where... 1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car. 2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he stops at the day care center. 3. A pass does not involve a football or dating. 4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.

You can live in the Midwest where... 1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name. 2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor. 3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day. 4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?" 5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was different!"

. And you can live in Florida where... 1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon. 2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars. 3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist. 4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state. 5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.


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smiley 8.3 PG

submitted: 1+ years ago

viewed: 11,925 times

categories: health men, women, relationships





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showing 1 - 5 of 5 discussions       sort by: newest

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by anthony s. 1+ years ago

I don't get number 5 of Florida; can someone please explain it to me.

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by Lance B. 1+ years ago

Again the part about the deep south and the mid-west are not all true. And apparently when people think of the South from the civil war they think of the cardinal directions. By the way I'm from Oklahoma.

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by Chester K. 1+ years ago

the deep south part is lying when is says we're lazy country hillbillies but the rest is pretty funny!

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by hunter s. 1+ years ago

i don't like the part about deep south we aren't all hicks but still funny

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by Patricia R. 1+ years ago

lets just say its not your best

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