Yes, You Are a Genius!

mark as unread

If you ever feel a little bit stupid, just dig this up and read it again; you'll begin to think you're a genius.


(On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.) Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever," --Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff." --Mariah Carey

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life," -- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body," --Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.

"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country," --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.

"Half this game is ninety percent mental." --Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." --Al Gore, Vice President

"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix." -- Dan Quayle

"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need ?" --Lee Lacocca

"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." --Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.

"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people." -- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instrutor.

"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances." --Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina

"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas." --Keppel Enderbery

"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record." --Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman


How funny is this joke, video, picture?


smiley 10 PG

submitted: 1+ years ago

viewed: 78,375 times

categories: celebrities, entertainment, people news, politics, government word fun (puns, riddles) other





Save to List


Personal Lists

Create New Personal List

List Name:

Allow Others to View/Subscribe:

save cancel


Community Lists

Create New Community List

List Name:

save cancel



User Comments Add Comment

showing 1 - 8 of 8 discussions       sort by: newest

+1 thumb down thumb up
by Joel E. 1+ years ago

I know that the Al Gore and Mariah Carey ones aren't true, so I'm not sure about the other ones. So to be on the safe side I wouldn't take any of these as true.

Reply to Joel E.'s comment
[below viewing threshold, show comment] -1 thumb down thumb up
by Franklin O. 1+ years ago

very educative

Reply to Franklin O.'s comment
[below viewing threshold, show comment] -1 thumb down thumb up
by cait p. 1+ years ago

wow....yep thats about all there is to say, just wow :D

Reply to cait p.'s comment
+5 thumb down thumb up
by Andrea R. 1+ years ago

I am the stupidest person I know, (I think) and reading this totally made me feel SMART. :D I can't believe some people actually said these things! Mariah Carey's quote was kind of mean, though, but I laughed. :D Since my grandfather hates Joe Theisman, reading the quote by him to my grandfather made him laugh and say "Wow, what an idiot" and "Shows what he knows." Ha. :D

Show 1 replies to this comment

[below viewing threshold, show comment] -1 thumb down thumb up
by kane s. 1+ years ago

when you kill somebody, there not dead, there alive in heaven. unknown person

Reply to kane s.'s comment
+5 thumb down thumb up
by Mr. Smith S. 1+ years ago

WOW... It never occurred to me but i think i just might be a genius

Reply to Mr. Smith S.'s comment
+6 thumb down thumb up
by Brittany P. 1+ years ago

i feel so smart right now!!!!!!!!! blah blah blah SMART!!!!!!! hehehe

Reply to Brittany P.'s comment
+4 thumb down thumb up
by Robert B. 1+ years ago

These are pretty funny. The quote from Al Gore is actually a quote from Dan Quayle.

Reply to Robert B.'s comment
CGFJW_Yes, You Are a Genius!

Advertise | About Us | Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Copyright Agent | Parents' Guide | Contact