Dying of Lung Cancer
A man takes his father to the doctor.
At the office, the doctor tells the old man, "I'm sorry, sir, but you have lung cancer. You'll be dead in a year."
On the way home, the old man turns to his grief-stricken son and says, "Quit all that cryin'! I'm not depressed. I've lived 75 great years. How 'bout you and me go to my favorite bar and have a couple beers with my friends?"
So while the guys are having their beers, the old man breaks the news to his friends. "Fellas," he says, "I'll be dead in a year 'cause I got AIDS."
On the way home, his son asks, "Dad, why did you lie to your friends?"
His dad replies, "'Cause when I die, I don't want them trying to fuck your mother!"