A girl sent some potato chips to her pen pal in Liverpool,
England, her pen pal. He wrote this two days later:
Thank you for introducing me to potato chips, but they
make me fart and gives me diarea so I called the police
officer to go to your house. I told him you killed my two
brothers but at least let my sister Yvonne live, plus I
sent people to kill you! Tell all your friends that they
can give me things, but if I turn out allergec to them I'll
hunt them down, make everyone think they're criminals and
hire people to kill them.
Luther Grant IIV
P.S. You're going to die in twenty hours, so stay paranoid!