A dictionary for women

mark as unread

Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. -------------------------- A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet.

Airhead (er*hed) n. ------------------- What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman.

Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n. ------------------------ You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but, he, "made the dinner."

Blonde jokes (blond joks) n. ---------------------------- Jokes that are short so men can understand them.

Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope) n. -------------------------- Gotta get married in a church.

Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n. -------------------------------- An appliance designed to eat socks.

Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n. -------------------------- A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms.

Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n. -------------------------- The last two minutes of a football game.

Exercise (ex*er*siz) v. ----------------------- To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.

Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n. ----------------------------------- What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.

Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n. ------------------------------ Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again. See "Magician."

Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n. --------------------------------- Similar to a black hole in space-if he goes in, he isn't coming out anytime soon.

Childbirth (child*brth) n. -------------------------- You get to go through 36 hours of contractions; he gets to hold your hand and say "focus,...breath...push..."

Lipstick (lip*stik) n. ---------------------- On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of your mouth. On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear...!

Park (park) v./n. ----------------- Before children, a verb meaning, "to go somewhere and neck." After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and slide.

Patience (pa*shens) n. ---------------------- The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children. See also "tranquilizers."

Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n. ---------------------------------------------- Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.

Valentine's Day (val*en*tinez dae) n. ------------------------------------- A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card.

Rate

How funny is this joke, video, picture?

Submitted By

Stats

smiley 6.4 PG

submitted: 1+ years ago

viewed: 9,864 times

categories: men, women, relationships

close

Permalink

Permalink:

close

Save to List

Loading...

Personal Lists

Create New Personal List

List Name:

Allow Others to View/Subscribe:

save cancel

saving...

Community Lists

Create New Community List

List Name:

save cancel

saving...

joke

User Comments Add Comment

showing 0 - 0 of 0 discussions       sort by: newest

CG6K_A dictionary for women

Advertise | About Us | Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Copyright Agent | Parents' Guide | Contact Funny.com

z9ue8SPa4TCfDa3QJCOGE0
0