An blind old man heard two men talking about the local lumberyard needing help. The old man makes his way to the lumberyard and asks for the foreman. The foreman asks if he can help the old man and the man replies, "I hear your looking for help and I'm here to apply". The foreman looking at the man can see that the man is blind and replies, "I'm sorry sir but, you're blind and the job..." the old man cuts him off. "Non-sense, I can identify any piece of wood you have". The foreman thinks he will have fun with the old man and instructs one of his workers to go pull several boards cut from different trees. The worker returns with the boards and the old man says, "Just pass them under my nose and I'll tell you what they are". The foreman passes one under his nose and the old man shouts "Pine, Raised in the hills of Missouri." The foreman says "good, now this one". The old man sniffs and shouts "Oak, old oak probably 70 years old". The foreman is impressed, he says, "I got one more for you". He pulls his secretary aside and whispers in her ear. She walks up to the old man and drops trou, bends over and puts her crack right up to the old mans nose. The old man sniffs, and sniffs again. He says, "flip this one over". The secretary stands up and hikes her leg up. The old man sniffs and sniffs again. Finally he shouts "You sons-a-bitchs thought you could fool me??, This is the shit house door off a tuna boat!!"